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Enemies to Lovers: Trauma Informed Therapy, Couples Bodywork, Buy a Worm, BIPOC/Queer/Trans Fund
Eiko Mizushima
February 10, 2025
Newsletter song of the week. Turn it on to open your heart a little. John Legend, dang.
From Enemies to…Not Enemies for the Win
Here is the audio from Ricardo’s book launch event for The Land Knows the Way. A audience member asked about the role of enemies in the work, Ricardo’s response is at minute 1:11.35.-1.13.35 in the attached audio. He discussed the fear that generally underlies two core positions that arise in conversations about “enemy”. One position being that people fear dehumanizing an “enemy”, that someone does not want to draw too sharp of lines of polarization between people, by looking at another human and forgetting what does, or could, unite us. On the other hand, we may swing too far to the other side and the fear is loosing the sharp analysis of recognizing when to draw life-saving boundaries with someone who means us real harm, and that no amount of conversation and tea is going to resolve. In my mind, this discernment is how we win. It’s simple as an idea, and takes hard work and serious healing as a practice. I’m down and so was the audience at the book launch. Here’s an excerpt from the audio.
I believe that sharp analysis and compassion actually have to go together. I think that enemy is a useful concept. It is a position. It is a role. It is people fitting into a role in machinery that are trying to kill us. That are trying to prevent our dreams from coming true. That is positional. It doesn’t mean that the people in that role are evil. It doesn’t mean that they are unredeemable. I have had the experience of being in movement with people who were in the drivers seat or were in the machinery of the enemy machine, have come over to our side. But I think the concept of enemy does create a line of demarcation that says, that there are certain things we do not cross…this vision needs to replace that vision to move us forward…in the face of polarization you don’t build bridges you find the geological layer below the chasm that we all stand on, which are usually just about human needs and human emotions on top of which toxic narratives have been created. And you sure as hell don’t meet half way. You don’t come up with a vision that is half racist and half not racist, of course that’s the liberal strategy. We need to be clear about people positioned into a certain role that we have to sometimes just confront while holding in our hearts that by all rights most of those people should be on our side. My father used to say that people who think they are our enemy and are fighting us mostly have been fooled, frightened, or bribed into doing that. There are only a small cluster who are really structurally our enemy…That is why fascism depends so much on misdirecting peoples frustration, anger, and alienation— so we don’t build that commonality.
From Enemies to Lovers
For some more light hearted enemies to lovers slowburn, check out Caroline Klidonas skits on IG for some role play fun. For real watch this though, you probably need it.
Schedule With Me
If you want to schedule, here’s your cue, take the one minute. I’d love to see more people for Somatic Experiencing informed coaching, it’s going well.
V-Day Trauma Informed Couples Classes/Bodywork/Massage/Shibari Classes
I’ve realized as I was making these coupons, that I’ve been a massage therapist for twelve years now. Woah. I’ve been asked a few times if I offer trauma informed bodywork. Trauma informed is something I try and integrate into all my work, and because it’s the main strength I looked for in my teachers and mentors, in some ways it has just blended into my life and work. However sometimes I am shaken by the way the term “trauma informed” is so branded, usually by large institutions seeking to prove they are trustworthy, and then shock, there you are when they do the least trauma informed thing you can imagine. This often involves them doing nothing, when the trauma informed thing would have been to do something— anything but instead they are silent. Trauma informed requires that you get political about trauma, and this is what I saw missing most often when I worked in a hospital setting.
Trauma informed means at the systemic level I try to understand and stand against the ways systemic oppression impacts every level of healing. When we’re in the room together for bodywork, at a minimum, I check-in at the beginning of every session where you do and don’t want to receive touch, prioritize easeful communication, intention setting, consent which means creating openings for you to change your mind and use your voice throughout the session. What makes or breaks a good massage is whether you walk out feeling like you were listened to. I want you to feel in your power during our time together. I integrate that into the classes I lead with couples. It looks a little different for the somatic experiencing informed coaching I do, where theres is less physical touch but more psychological touch. The concepts are the same though— we move slow, build trust, notice resistance, and go to the wounds that need resourcing, uncoupling, more coupling, a competent protector, etc..
Donate to Eiko's BIPOC/Queer/Trans/Disabled
Bodywork Fund
Friend or foe, when you name a worm for $15 in someone’s honor the recipient will be sent an email notifying them about your donation and that a worm was named in their honor. Your donation supports the BIPOC/Queer/Trans fund at my practice. Once you pay I will say a prayer and feed your honorary worm to her Tetra fish for Valentine’s Day.
Community Events
Midwest Mosaic: Reconnect Event, see the deets below
Candlelight walks: Lac qui Parle Lake on 2/15/25, 2 hours and 45 minutes from Minneapolis and Zipple Bay State Park which is 5 hours and 45 minutes away from Minneapolis. Both are kind of far and both look gorgeous. One of my life goals is to go to every MN State Park. Let’s go.
